Just spent a good 2 hours editing photos.. here are a few

I was afraid that I had become burnt out from my photoshoots; that I didn't want to take any more photos.
All my planned photoshoots had fallen apart; even the most concrete ones had been cancelled and rescheduled to a day that probably won't materialize.
But that wasn't the problem; the problem was that I was kinda happy; that I didn't want to do any more.

I'm lucky to have a friend and partner in photography who understands me when I need it, challenges me to do better and pushes me to break past my insecurities.
Everyone needs someone to support them and make the impossible, possible.

To get anything in life, one must sacrifice something else.
When I look at these photos that I took, it makes me realize that I have something here.
I'm willing to make sacrifices to make this something real.

Had some time tonight to go through some photos. 

Very pleased with how they came out and how many good photos I have.

Hehe; this one feels like a Nike ad. 
All my best photos are found at: rkphotog.deviantart.com

Is anyone actually waiting to see whether i'm going to post any photos here?

I have 1.2k photos now to go through. 4 photoshoots in 3 days.

While I guess I believe its the job of the photographer to make the subject look beautiful, I more wholeheartedly agree that its easier to get better photos when your model is already good looking.

Only two weeks later...lol

its hard to update this blog as now I have two other blogs:
www.justonemoreunlock.blogspot.com
and now
beforeido.livejournal.com

Vacation is coming up rapidly; going to the cottage and in between will be doing as much photography as i can.
I got 3 recently purchased backdrops today in the mail:

I need more ideas for artistic photos; send me some links!

I believe people always tend to blurt out whats in their heart but then they try to cover it up with bravado.
Its interesting what people say and then try to unsay it.
Even more interesting when people go outside 'normal' thinking.

The usual person is like my coworker R; she'll normally quickly have a retort or something cutting to say, but when she deems it to not be taken lightly, will insert "just kidding" and laugh lightly to ease the mood.

Then there was my coworker G.
He's going on a trip to Jamaica in a few weeks and I teased him "remember G, no glove, no love."
But he casually dismissed that and responded that he was gonna go "bareback b/c he wanted to feel everything."
Now what made this poignant was 2 things:
1. He has an illegitimate child already
2. possible Stds transmission

It wasn't one of those cases where like R, he would recant what he said, playing it off as a joke. And I think he would be the type of person to not be boasting, guy-to-guy.
So that tells me something important about his character; that there are no consequences when he goes on his trip. 
I hope that he doesn't have #2 or meets anyone with #2 and that it doesn't cause #1.

Nice to have a day off when everyone else is working.. although feels horrible to work when everyone is not.

For all my talk about not caring what other people think of you and only about yourself.. i sure don't practice it.

I blame media; they bombard me and my friends that drinking is for cool, mature people and thats how people have fun and celebrate.
But then that taking the easy way out as we all have our own minds to use and make the conscious decision. 
To be strong enough to not be easily swayed by others and peer pressure.

I failed again, just like new years.
Remember that entry?
I was scrambling 10 minutes before midnight looking for some alcoholic drink to 'celebrate' when i found that incredibly silly.
I grabbed some icecream drumsticks and clinked that with my girlfriend.

So Canada Day weekend.. and I know every night there will be celebrations and hence drinking.
First thing that comes into mind: lets buy some alcohol so i'm prepared.

Maybe its not so bad.
The kind of drinks that I buy, I like to drink b/c it actually tastes good and I like the buzz.
And maybe thats ok.
But maybe all the sugars in it makes me break out.. and i'd prefer not to.
Or maybe I just want to stop drinking all together; just because.

I wish I had the strength to stop and by like my friend L who never drinks.
But how fun is it for your friends to always tease you about it and watch other people be obnoxious when drunk?
I don't think i'm that strong.

I had a dream about getting a tattoo on my left shoulder last night. Didn't know what it exactly was, but it was impressive.

I think girls with tats are pretty hot. But only when there are a few, and not fully covered head to toe.

It was surprisingly hard to find a photo taken by one of my favorite photographers of a xanga-acceptable (non risque) girl with tats. I guess the nature of the business, you have to show some flesh to show your tats b/c you don't have it always at the extremities of your body but places you may normally cover up. 

Is it all friendly banter, or is it comparing and making yourself feel better about your own situation?

If its the latter, then I see right through you.

My (second?) Uncle was asking me at Saturday's family get-together about what my plans were; when/whether I was going to get married and have kids.
I couldn't tell from his tone of voice whether that was some kind of crack.
His eldest daughter, though still a year younger than I, got married last year and recently gave birth to her first child.
I shot back what I normally say when people ask me this: "oh didn't you hear? Its going to be in august."
If they see through that, I make it more specific: "The first august where the 11th falls on a Saturday" (5 years from now)
See, when you're very specific, people tend to believe you more... or maybe that is just old age.

People are so backwards; getting married and having children doesn't fulfill your life. They aren't meant to be checked off and everything is hunkey-dorey. Getting married doesn't solve life's problems.
Marriage is a huge step and shouldn't be taken lightly. You should find your life partner; the person you're spending the rest of your life with; for good times, bad and horrible.
I don't know why women want (b/c most men certainly don't want) children so badly. I guess its the 'well i'm able to give birth, so I might as well before I can't physically do it.'
Children are the biggest responsibilities you can have. Your life will be fundamentally changed afterwards forever. And although they will be a 'blessing' there will be alot of hardships that people don't realize.

Who was it.. there was some guy.. oh.. my older cousin that wanted a second (vs first) child and his wife said no.. 
See, if it was the other way around, I doubt the guy has no say about it.
No baby, no sex.

Here is a real life example of why you MUST find a very good life partner:
My suck-up coworker was waiting at work much later than normal. I knew something was amiss b/c he normally leaves at 4pm on the dot b/c his family only has one car, his wife picks him up and is very impatient. I asked him why he was still here at 5:30 and he looked at me with hurt eyes, trying to pretend nothing was wrong and sighed. He told me that since very high management was visiting from the US, he had a meeting with them and he needed his wife to wait a few extra minutes while his meeting was delayed. She told him in a voicemail "spend the hours of 8-4 to further your career, not later. If you're not out by 4:10, find your own way home." They live outside the city, and not something you take a cab, distance (40$ cab ride?). So it ended up 4:10 came by and his meeting was very short and was able to call his wife (who had already left) to turn around and pick him up. She refused. 5/10 minutes driving and she won't turn around and pick up your husband. So my coworker had to beg one of his coworkers who lives even farther away to drive him home (i worked til midnight.. so couldn't help).

Never settle for less when it comes to relationships. 
As you can see from that example, this guy's wife couldn't have been having a bad day to react so viciously. She was always like that. And you married that?
Is it because you can change them? Well, I hope to God, you can, b/c that would be a last straw for most people.
Find your own way home.
Wow.

You know what would have been a nice story?
If the wife wasn't a bitch and sat in the car for a few minutes, so that her husband wasn't stressed that she might leave him without a way home, b/c him working two jobs and 14 hours a day isn't enough. So that he can give a stress-free presentation of what he does so that he can be considered for future promotions (though if he becomes my manager, I quit). Err, yeah. Problem solved.
Or ok, she waited and she left, but its only 5/10 minutes.. you can turn around still. Its slightly inconvenient, but its your husband. This isn't some stranger. This isn't your boyfriend that you've dated for only a few weeks. This is your husband in which you have a child with (somehow that gives it emphasis.. blah).

Its an extremely touchy subject talking to your partner about their deficiencies and short-comings, but its important to address.
Why waste your good years now with someone that may not have a future with you?
Answer: b/c breaking up is extremely hard to do and is very unpleasant.
Breaking up is never the be-all and end-all; it doesn't mean that you've wasted X years of your life. You've had your own happiness and your own tangible and intangible rewards.
You've learned and grown together as (I imagine) better people.
You've made many new connections and unless you cheating/beat them, they'll still be good connections.

You know what pisses people off who's kids have married?
You tell them that you don't believe in marriage. Or that its for suckers.
So technically your kid is a sucker. Oh wait.. ooops.

Now stop asking me stupid questions.