June 25, 2012

• Hot Blooded

  Is it all friendly banter, or is it comparing and making yourself feel better about your own situation?

  If its the latter, then I see right through you.

  My (second?) Uncle was asking me at Saturday's family get-together about what my plans were; when/whether I was going to get married and have kids.
  I couldn't tell from his tone of voice whether that was some kind of crack.
  His eldest daughter, though still a year younger than I, got married last year and recently gave birth to her first child.
  I shot back what I normally say when people ask me this: "oh didn't you hear? Its going to be in august."
  If they see through that, I make it more specific: "The first august where the 11th falls on a Saturday" (5 years from now)
  See, when you're very specific, people tend to believe you more... or maybe that is just old age.

  People are so backwards; getting married and having children doesn't fulfill your life. They aren't meant to be checked off and everything is hunkey-dorey. Getting married doesn't solve life's problems.
  Marriage is a huge step and shouldn't be taken lightly. You should find your life partner; the person you're spending the rest of your life with; for good times, bad and horrible.
  I don't know why women want (b/c most men certainly don't want) children so badly. I guess its the 'well i'm able to give birth, so I might as well before I can't physically do it.'
  Children are the biggest responsibilities you can have. Your life will be fundamentally changed afterwards forever. And although they will be a 'blessing' there will be alot of hardships that people don't realize.

  Who was it.. there was some guy.. oh.. my older cousin that wanted a second (vs first) child and his wife said no.. 
  See, if it was the other way around, I doubt the guy has no say about it.
  No baby, no sex.

  Here is a real life example of why you MUST find a very good life partner:
  My suck-up coworker was waiting at work much later than normal. I knew something was amiss b/c he normally leaves at 4pm on the dot b/c his family only has one car, his wife picks him up and is very impatient. I asked him why he was still here at 5:30 and he looked at me with hurt eyes, trying to pretend nothing was wrong and sighed. He told me that since very high management was visiting from the US, he had a meeting with them and he needed his wife to wait a few extra minutes while his meeting was delayed. She told him in a voicemail "spend the hours of 8-4 to further your career, not later. If you're not out by 4:10, find your own way home." They live outside the city, and not something you take a cab, distance (40$ cab ride?). So it ended up 4:10 came by and his meeting was very short and was able to call his wife (who had already left) to turn around and pick him up. She refused. 5/10 minutes driving and she won't turn around and pick up your husband. So my coworker had to beg one of his coworkers who lives even farther away to drive him home (i worked til midnight.. so couldn't help).

  Never settle for less when it comes to relationships. 
  As you can see from that example, this guy's wife couldn't have been having a bad day to react so viciously. She was always like that. And you married that?
  Is it because you can change them? Well, I hope to God, you can, b/c that would be a last straw for most people.
  Find your own way home.
  Wow.

  You know what would have been a nice story?
  If the wife wasn't a bitch and sat in the car for a few minutes, so that her husband wasn't stressed that she might leave him without a way home, b/c him working two jobs and 14 hours a day isn't enough. So that he can give a stress-free presentation of what he does so that he can be considered for future promotions (though if he becomes my manager, I quit). Err, yeah. Problem solved.
  Or ok, she waited and she left, but its only 5/10 minutes.. you can turn around still. Its slightly inconvenient, but its your husband. This isn't some stranger. This isn't your boyfriend that you've dated for only a few weeks. This is your husband in which you have a child with (somehow that gives it emphasis.. blah).

  Its an extremely touchy subject talking to your partner about their deficiencies and short-comings, but its important to address.
  Why waste your good years now with someone that may not have a future with you?
  Answer: b/c breaking up is extremely hard to do and is very unpleasant.
  Breaking up is never the be-all and end-all; it doesn't mean that you've wasted X years of your life. You've had your own happiness and your own tangible and intangible rewards.
  You've learned and grown together as (I imagine) better people.
  You've made many new connections and unless you cheating/beat them, they'll still be good connections.

  You know what pisses people off who's kids have married?
  You tell them that you don't believe in marriage. Or that its for suckers.
  So technically your kid is a sucker. Oh wait.. ooops.

  Now stop asking me stupid questions.

   

  • 12:20 pm
  • 2 Comments