November 6, 2012
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Randoms
Just some randoms.. mostly related to the recent passing of my grandfather:
- no matter how much time I spent preparing myself emotionally and mentally for it, it didn’t stop me from weeping for the loss of my grandfather when I saw him in his coffin at the wake, or lowering him into the plot of land
- I spent alot of time coping via talking about it with coworkers these days and before that, playing far more video games than I normally do
- there were 49 flower/bouquet sets at the wake room; crazy amount of flowers; basically took up the whole room
- my parents told many friends that it was a private function, but the wake was still packed, standing room only
- it was only from 6-8 but people were talking and reminiscing alot and we stayed til 9:30 instead
- i cheated on my diet a bit at the wake by eating a 2bite browney and a mini cinnabun; it did make me feel better
- i’ve never seen my grandmother cry; and the whole time (wake and funeral) i’ve never seen her stop
- my younger cousin said something that resonated with me: “this will be the last time I ever see my grandfather after this”
- my aunt told me the story of how she was at the hospital with him and helping him get from the washroom and back into the bed, and because he was too weak, she sat at the edge and told him to fall back onto her so they can get onto the bed. As they fell back, he noticed how he dropped his head, eyes closed. She looked to the nurse and asked whether he passed and they wouldn’t say, b/c he did. I sometimes don’t know how I feel about that: b/c while it is horrible to have someone die in your arms, it is also the greatest honor that they felt comfortable enough to do that